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demon: i possessed you
me: get the fuck out
demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit
my happy little pill

"It’s just a song"

sc0miche:

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Me looking at flowers: if I was a fairy I would totally use this as a dress

koreykuhl:

School Life!
In holiday: i miss school
In school: i miss holidays

cokeflow:

Maybe I am maybelline 

He saw the opportunity and he took it.

bigrnac:

“everyone has their off days” I tell myself 15 days in a row

kawaiiprincessroxy:

do you ever stretch and just MAKE THE LOUDEST SEXUAL NOISE EVER

Mom: *runs in the room singing* Do you wanna do your laundryyy?
Me: Go away, Mom.
Mom: Okay bye....... Haha I'm just kidding get your lazy butt up & go do your laundry.

philslesters:

dan makes phil carry him around when he’s feeling lazy

youtubers-ugh:

troye sivan (x)

vicon 2014 

snorlaxatives:

me: *eats cookie dough*

some weak ass person: “you’ll get salmonella poisoning!!!” 

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© MILKDESU's